and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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