Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
