I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
