i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
