it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Mom said you looked used
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
