He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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