hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
