I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
