Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
