My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
