Pappa wants mamma naked
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
