I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize