I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
