I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
