If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
