Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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