It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
