I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
