wanna go halves on a baby?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
