I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
