My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
