3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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