Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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