I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
