Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
