After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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