It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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