still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
