I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
