did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
