there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
