Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
