Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
