"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
