If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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