So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
