I've blown a few things in my day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
