I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize