I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's like heaven, but drunker
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
