It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
