I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
