my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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