somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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