Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
