I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
