Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
