I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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