I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
