Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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