If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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