id be glad to
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
