My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
