I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
