Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
