North Korea, Best Korea!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
