Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
