best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
