dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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